What happens when it ends?
RIP Joe Martinez.
I heard about his death the day of a week ago from Brandon. I was in the middle of working for a group project and thought it was weird that he would be calling me. Oddly enough, I wasn’t affected. I continued the project like nothing had happened. I was disturbed at myself a bit. He was a very important part of my life, coaching me for swimming since I was in Barracudas in elementary school. I’ve never actually had much experience with death. I hear about it all the time, but I think this is the first time someone so close to me has died and so prematurely in his life for that matter. And what do I feel? Nothing much. I don’t quite get it myself.
Joe. Looking back at high school, you were so important to me. You would put up with my laziness but always encourage me to do my best. We were the lane 6 slackers. But you would make sure that we would perform when we needed to. Over the four years in high school when I really began to take swimming seriously, you were at my back, pushing me to work harder. Who would’ve known that I would become one of the fastest sprinters on the team and finally overcome my goal in the 100 fly. I know I wouldn’t have been able to do it without your support. I came back after freshman year and you welcomed me with open arms, letting me practice with the old team, laughing it up with that big smile as you always did.
And yet, I still feel nothing. What’s the loss in death? Have you lost anything? Once you’ve died do you feel regret? What happens to what you wanted to do in your life? For you, now none of that matters. The only ones who feel the loss of death are the ones left by the deceased’s shadow. But for you I think all you’ve left me with is satisfaction. I went through your guidance, you left me with something I can never forget. Are there any more words to share between us? I am supremely grateful to you Joe.
Why mourn when all that he’s left me with is the amazing experience I had in the swim team. Why mourn when he continues to live in the memory of the people he has blessed. Why mourn when the man who is deceased is finally resting in peace.
